Cook Beef

Despite many complaints from many people a lot of us beef eaters like to cook our beef. ‘What?!’ people say ‘Cooking it! What the helling frick! Why the gosh would you cook all the good stuff out of the beef pile! I like my beef to still be walking around so that I can go and rip chunks out of it with my teeth’ and you have to be like ‘Alright! Don’t ruin another Sunday mum!’.


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MUMS RIGHT? I mean, what are they on about? We all love of our mums of course, of course we love our mums, of course we love them, our mums, you pretty much have to! You’re a bad person if you don’t love you’re mum. Because they’re your mum and they matter because they are, well, they’re your mum. What if the mum was cruel? Or what if, more likely, she never really loved you apart from as an extension to herself, as a thing that needed her and wanted her and validated her feeling and experiences by virtue of caring about them. What ever happens, are you allowed to just not love them?

Any way, beef. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to cook beef and I have very good reason ok so shut up and listen. I’ve just gone and got myself new kitchen, I started out with new appliances, quite an amazing oven, quite a beautiful kitchen sofa:


We picked up some great kitchen wall unit carcassesĀ on the cheap to set us on the way for some fantastic kitchen units and cupboards and things. And now we are ready, oh we are ready, oh we are ready to cook beef! So the real question that I have is simple: what’s the best way to cook beef? I mean, what’s your favourite? Send your answers on some sort of internet post card.